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Are you having sexual thoughts about children?

Try answering these questions:

  • Have you ever felt a sexual attraction to children or underage teenagers (a boy or girl 16 years old or younger)?
  • Have you kept secrets from others about your attractions to children or underage teenagers?
  • Have you looked at or purchased pornography that showed children or underage teenagers?
  • Have you ever secretly watched children or underage teenagers or exposed yourself to children or underage teenagers?
  • Have you bought children or underage teenagers gifts, or given them money, in order to get them to trust you and like you so you can touch them sexually?
  • Have you shown pornography (or material of a sexual nature) to children or underage teenagers, or intentionally left it where they could find it?
  • Does your sexual attraction to children or underage teens conflict with your spiritual beliefs or moral values?
  • Has your sexual attraction to children ever left you feeling worried, frightened ashamed, hopeless, different or suicidal?
  • Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you were not sexually attracted to children or underage teens?

Did you answer YES to any of these questions? If so, we urge you to read on, and to get help.

Not sure what to do?

It takes strength to ask for help when you need it.
 
When adults who are at-risk to sexually abuse a child can stop making excuses for the behaviours, or justifying it as “no big deal,” they are able to begin to take responsibility for what is really happening. By holding yourself accountable for any sexual behaviours with children, you are able to move towards stopping the harm and starting your own recovery.

Living a double-life of lies and secrets is a burden that can be lifted. There are places to turn to for relief.  If you are troubled or distracted by sexual thoughts and activities that include children, we can help you find help to stop -- starting now.

How can you be safer?

Having sexual thoughts about children/ young people is the first stage in offending against children. You can do something to protect children and make yourself safer.
 
Start a safety plan
You can learn how to start a safety plan today so things don’t get any worse. The first step is to reach out for help to stop the feeling of being out of control.  Help is available from:
  • Visit http://www.theharbour.org.nz/needing-help/i-think-im-causing-harm/whats-harmful-behaviour/adult/​
  • Call SAFE NETWORK on (09) 377 9898 or email [email protected] or check out www.safenetwork.org.nz

Have you been using the internet to look at pictures of children?

You can:​
  • Contact your Internet Service Provider and ask about how they can help you put a filtering program on your computer so you cannot access sexual material on your computer.
  • You can contact SAFE NETWORK on (09) 377 9898 or email [email protected]and talk about your concerns.
           This tip sheet was complied with information from www.theharbour.org.nz and www.stopitnow.org.uk and www.stopitnow.org
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0508 2277 28 (CAPS CU)   |  07 868 8644 (Thames) |  07 862 6134 (Paeroa)