How can you help prevent the sexual abuse of children who are living with a disability? 

Worldwide research suggests that children with disabilities are three times more likely than children without them to experience sexual abuse[1]. A way that we can help keep children with disabilities safer is by acknowledging that they have the same need for information about sex and sexuality as their peers without disability. This means making conversations about sexual development, personal space and boundaries a part of their everyday life.
Some children with disabilities will be in residential or educational settings where staff and administrators play a significant role in their care. This tip-sheet also includes a section on ways to help keep your child safer in these settings[2] [3].
How and what to communicate to your child

• Educate yourself about age appropriate sexual behaviours in children. This will help you prepare for what your child needs to know and can be adapted to meet their specific developmental needs.
• Talk to your child in a matter a fact way about the differences between boys and girls and where babies come from. Make use of books from your local library and always use accurate names for body parts.
• Be clear about what range of behaviours are considered sexual abuse and which body parts are not okay for someone to touch or ask your child to touch[4]. It may be helpful to use pictures to show your child that private body parts are those covered by a swim suit.
• Teach your child to say ‘No!’ through speaking, shouting, stamping feet etc. Use role play or practise scenarios to help your child prepare for situations they may encounter. Share your child’s way of communicating with any carers and ask them to respect your child’s no about anything to do with their body.
• Keep the family touching rules in an obvious place in the house, like on the fridge, so that everyone knows the rules in your home. Let people around your child, like family members and friends, know that you have a secret word or sign for your child to tell you about any touch that makes them feel uncomfortable.
• If you see a pattern of concerning sexual behaviour in your child that is problematic for them or someone else then it is important to seek help from a professional.

 
How to help protect your child in residential settings

• Introduce yourself to the people who care for your child. Let them know that you are involved in your child’s care and that you are interested in their insights on your child. Vary the time and day that you visit so that you meet staff on different shifts.
• Monitor any changes in your child. If you get the sense that something is different use open ended questions to check how things are going for them. Let staff know that you are interested in their insights on your child including their observations about any changes in your child’s behaviour.
• Ask to see the service providers written policies and observe whether these are followed by staff. In particular, identify the policies and procedures that help to reduce your child’s vulnerability to sexual abuse. Do they have written guidelines on who can be alone with children and under what circumstances? Who baths your child? How are these procedures monitored on a day to day basis?
• Does the physical environment lessen the opportunity for sexual abuse? For example a key question would be whether most spaces are visible from the outside? Under what circumstances are doors closed and what are the rules around this?
• Talk with service providers about any specific concerns you have about any of these issues. For example you might ask them how they would respond to finding two children together in the bathroom with their clothes off. 
• Ask whether staff members receive regular specialised training to help prevent sexual misconduct or abuse. Identify the key concepts covered by the training and what guidance is given in establishing healthy boundaries. For example, does the training make clear that maintaining healthy boundaries is the responsibility of the staff not the children?

[1] Lund, Emily M., and Vaughn-Jensen, J. (2012). ‘Victimisation of Children with Disabilities’, The Lancet, Volume 380 (Issue 9845), 867-869.

[2] www.health.govt.nz/publication/review-disability-support-services

[3] www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/tip-sheet-22

[4] You may need to address the difference between sexual abuse and care with toileting or a doctors examination.