You can create a safety plan for your family to help prevent sexual abuse.
It should be age appropriate and should evolve as your family circumstances change and the children get older. Before you begin your family safety plan, it is important to set the proper foundations in place. This helps keep your plan strong and your family protected.
Laying a foundation for your family safety plan can start when children are very young. The foundation elements of being the boss of their own body, 'no secrets' and following their instincts should apply right throughout their childhood and into the teenage years.
The foundations of a family safety plan include:
• Help your child learn and understand their feelings or emotions. If children are able to recognize happy as opposed to uncomfortable feelings they can relate to 'yes' touching as opposed to 'no' touching.
• Teach your child the proper names for body parts. Using the proper name for genitals (penis/ vulva/ vagina) from as young as possible gives a clear message to your child that it is ok to talk to you about anything concerning their body, even their private parts. Current thought is that children who use the correct names for their body parts are less likely to be targeted by sexual abusers (because they assume that you have open telling environment with your child) and are more likely to be believed if they tell about abuse (because they use specific language and can describe what has happened). If you are not comfortable using the proper names for genitals, practice with a friend or when alone. The more you use the words, the easier it gets.
• Teach your child 'The 3 touching rules for private parts':
• Teach your child that they are the 'boss of their body'. Teach children that they have the right to say 'no' to unwelcome touching, play fighting or any other physical activity that makes them feel uncomfortable. They also need to know that you will not be angry if they loudly call out 'no' or lie to get away from someone who is acting inappropriately.
• Respect your child's control of their own body. For example, let your child decide if they want to hug or kiss someone hello or goodbye, or if they would rather shake hands, high five, or wave instead.
Now you have the foundations in place, you can move on and create a family safety plan
For more information on setting up a safety plan, see page 11-21 of Ending Offending Together
This Tip Sheet has been compiled from the following sources;
(from page 8 'We Can Keep Safe' Programme Booklet, Auckland Sexual Abuse Help).
www.sexualabusehelp.org.nz , www.stopitnow.org/family_safety_plan & Ending Offending Together
Laying a foundation for your family safety plan can start when children are very young. The foundation elements of being the boss of their own body, 'no secrets' and following their instincts should apply right throughout their childhood and into the teenage years.
The foundations of a family safety plan include:
• Help your child learn and understand their feelings or emotions. If children are able to recognize happy as opposed to uncomfortable feelings they can relate to 'yes' touching as opposed to 'no' touching.
• Teach your child the proper names for body parts. Using the proper name for genitals (penis/ vulva/ vagina) from as young as possible gives a clear message to your child that it is ok to talk to you about anything concerning their body, even their private parts. Current thought is that children who use the correct names for their body parts are less likely to be targeted by sexual abusers (because they assume that you have open telling environment with your child) and are more likely to be believed if they tell about abuse (because they use specific language and can describe what has happened). If you are not comfortable using the proper names for genitals, practice with a friend or when alone. The more you use the words, the easier it gets.
• Teach your child 'The 3 touching rules for private parts':
- It's OK to touch your own (in private);
- It's not OK to touch someone else's; and
- It's not OK for someone else to touch yours (except a doctor / nurse for medical issues
• Teach your child that they are the 'boss of their body'. Teach children that they have the right to say 'no' to unwelcome touching, play fighting or any other physical activity that makes them feel uncomfortable. They also need to know that you will not be angry if they loudly call out 'no' or lie to get away from someone who is acting inappropriately.
• Respect your child's control of their own body. For example, let your child decide if they want to hug or kiss someone hello or goodbye, or if they would rather shake hands, high five, or wave instead.
Now you have the foundations in place, you can move on and create a family safety plan
For more information on setting up a safety plan, see page 11-21 of Ending Offending Together
This Tip Sheet has been compiled from the following sources;
(from page 8 'We Can Keep Safe' Programme Booklet, Auckland Sexual Abuse Help).
www.sexualabusehelp.org.nz , www.stopitnow.org/family_safety_plan & Ending Offending Together
