New partners and the blending of families can be an opportunity for great happiness for everyone involved.
It can also bring opportunities for harm to children as children face a higher risk of being sexually abused in blended families from step parents, step siblings and other step relatives and friends. You can minimise the risk by:
• Spending some time with your new partner and their family and friends. Watch for any signs of unsafe behaviour such as wanting to spend more time with your children than with you, or overriding other's physical boundaries (like tickling when someone wants them to stop).
• Create a safety plan for your family.
• Be explicit about privacy and touching rules and respect the child's boundaries even if this means your new partner does not participate in child care activities like toileting or bathing. Use the principle of the child being the 'boss' of their own body as a useful place to start the discussion.
• Make a point of having one to one time with your child doing things they want to do even though it can be tempting to do less of this when you form a blended family. Maintaining a close relationship with your child lets them know that they can rely on you and talk to you about any worries they may have.
• Keep an eye out for any unsafe behaviours around children.
• Talk with your new partner about your family touching rules. Explain that these rules help keep everyone safer and enlist their help to enforce a pro-telling/no secrets environment with the children.
This tip sheet has been compiled using the following sources:
We Can Keep Safe (Auckland Sexual Abuse 2011), http://helpauckland.org.nz/minimizing-risks , www.stopitnow.org/parent_questions_camp_safety .
• Spending some time with your new partner and their family and friends. Watch for any signs of unsafe behaviour such as wanting to spend more time with your children than with you, or overriding other's physical boundaries (like tickling when someone wants them to stop).
• Create a safety plan for your family.
• Be explicit about privacy and touching rules and respect the child's boundaries even if this means your new partner does not participate in child care activities like toileting or bathing. Use the principle of the child being the 'boss' of their own body as a useful place to start the discussion.
• Make a point of having one to one time with your child doing things they want to do even though it can be tempting to do less of this when you form a blended family. Maintaining a close relationship with your child lets them know that they can rely on you and talk to you about any worries they may have.
• Keep an eye out for any unsafe behaviours around children.
• Talk with your new partner about your family touching rules. Explain that these rules help keep everyone safer and enlist their help to enforce a pro-telling/no secrets environment with the children.
This tip sheet has been compiled using the following sources:
We Can Keep Safe (Auckland Sexual Abuse 2011), http://helpauckland.org.nz/minimizing-risks , www.stopitnow.org/parent_questions_camp_safety .
