At some time during their childhood, most youngsters stay away from home overnight either at a school or church camp, or on a marae etc..
The overnight stay may even be at a friend's house. Most of these experiences will be safe and fun. You can minimise risk of sexual abuse in a variety of ways:
• Before the sleepover make sure that your child clearly understands personal boundaries and touching rules. Sleepovers are safest when your children can bath, toilet and dress themselves.
• Check that your child is not feeling pressured into the sleepover or attracted by something else in the house like games, toys or a PlayStation.
• Remind your children about family touching rules.
• Let them know that they can phone you at any time if they are concerned about something and that you will not be angry about this. It may help if the child has a pre-arranged code to let you know that they want to return home in case others are present during the phone call.
• Meet the caregivers of your child's friend before they stay the night. Look out for any unsafe behaviour around children.
• Check out the plans for the night including what level of supervision there will be. Find out who will be present in the house overnight. You can share your family privacy and touching rules with the adults supervising the sleepover.
• Remind them that they are the boss of their body and to listen to their intuition (their own feelings). And that even if their peers pressure them to do something sexual, they always have the right to determine what happens to their body and that if something makes them feel uncomfortable they can talk to you about it and you'll be happy to help (and you won't overreact).
• Communicate your expectations around videos and online activities to your child and any supervising adults.
Camps, clubs, marae visits
Sourced from: We Can Keep Safe (Auckland Sexual Abuse Help, 2011)
www.stopitnow.org/camp_safety, www.stopitnow.org/parent_questions_school_policy, www.parentsformeganslaw.org/public/prevention_childSexualAbuse.html, www.ci.milwaukie.or.us/police/child-safety-and-preventing-child-sex-abuse.
• Before the sleepover make sure that your child clearly understands personal boundaries and touching rules. Sleepovers are safest when your children can bath, toilet and dress themselves.
• Check that your child is not feeling pressured into the sleepover or attracted by something else in the house like games, toys or a PlayStation.
• Remind your children about family touching rules.
• Let them know that they can phone you at any time if they are concerned about something and that you will not be angry about this. It may help if the child has a pre-arranged code to let you know that they want to return home in case others are present during the phone call.
• Meet the caregivers of your child's friend before they stay the night. Look out for any unsafe behaviour around children.
• Check out the plans for the night including what level of supervision there will be. Find out who will be present in the house overnight. You can share your family privacy and touching rules with the adults supervising the sleepover.
• Remind them that they are the boss of their body and to listen to their intuition (their own feelings). And that even if their peers pressure them to do something sexual, they always have the right to determine what happens to their body and that if something makes them feel uncomfortable they can talk to you about it and you'll be happy to help (and you won't overreact).
• Communicate your expectations around videos and online activities to your child and any supervising adults.
Camps, clubs, marae visits
- Check the organization's child sexual abuse prevention policies. This includes how the organization screens staff and volunteers who may be present and how they monitor interactions between adults and children. Don't be embarrassed about asking questions, most organizations already know about the need to be proactive about child safety.
- Attend with your child - most camps etc. encourage caregivers to be involved.
- Check out the expectations for behaviour. For example, what are the rules about changing clothes and bathing?
- Where sleeping arrangements are communal (e.g. on a marae) help your child to identify the 'safe adults' in the room or arrange for them to sleep close to their friends or others they feel safe with.
Sourced from: We Can Keep Safe (Auckland Sexual Abuse Help, 2011)
www.stopitnow.org/camp_safety, www.stopitnow.org/parent_questions_school_policy, www.parentsformeganslaw.org/public/prevention_childSexualAbuse.html, www.ci.milwaukie.or.us/police/child-safety-and-preventing-child-sex-abuse.
