Sexual abuse is not usually something that 'suddenly' happens.
Most child sexual abusers plan carefully to create opportunities to be alone with children (e.g. taking them out for drives, camping or baby-sitting). The fact that abusers usually take their time can give well-informed caregivers the chance to prevent abuse happening in the first place. A big problem is that, most often, the ways in which someone starts to abuse a child doesn't look like abuse at all. Often sexual abusers will seem friendly, charming and nice. It often looks exactly like good, caring childcare, but that is not the aim. The abuser's aim is to make sure everyone feels safe and trusts him/her. Appearing nice and caring helps the abuser because everyone will trust him/her and not be suspicious of their behaviour. If the abuser dressed or spoke or behaved in a scary way, people would be far more suspicious.
The process of grooming usually has several stages:
1. Having sexual thoughts about children
2. Creating opportunities to be alone with the child
3. Encouraging the people around the child to think they are safe
4. Overcoming resistance from the child or adult/s
5. Abusing the child
Due to the abuser's kind behaviour, the child may not appear scared or uncomfortable with him/her. The child may even appear to enjoy their time with the abuser because of the attention, kindness and caring he/she shows to the child. Grooming may take many forms.
It may occur through:
• Favouring one child over others
• Buying a child presents or giving them money
• Isolating the child from parents/ caregivers (e.g. taking the child on outings without other adults and children, or by having 'special secrets' with them)
• Taking an undue interest in the child's physical appearance
• Creating 'special' secrets with the child
• Getting frequent access to the child
• Safe touching which becomes increasingly intimate and inappropriate
• Showing sexual pictures to the child
• Talking about sex with the child
• Repeatedly invading the child's privacy
Sometimes, grooming doesn't work for the abuser. Sometimes they will not abuse the first child they try to groom - they will find another more vulnerable child. At other times they may use force, threats and violence to abuse or keep the abuse a secret.
Grooming can be different where the offender is someone who is already well known and trusted, than a stranger.
Source:
http://rpe.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Ending_Offending_Together1.pdf
The process of grooming usually has several stages:
1. Having sexual thoughts about children
2. Creating opportunities to be alone with the child
3. Encouraging the people around the child to think they are safe
4. Overcoming resistance from the child or adult/s
5. Abusing the child
Due to the abuser's kind behaviour, the child may not appear scared or uncomfortable with him/her. The child may even appear to enjoy their time with the abuser because of the attention, kindness and caring he/she shows to the child. Grooming may take many forms.
It may occur through:
• Favouring one child over others
• Buying a child presents or giving them money
• Isolating the child from parents/ caregivers (e.g. taking the child on outings without other adults and children, or by having 'special secrets' with them)
• Taking an undue interest in the child's physical appearance
• Creating 'special' secrets with the child
• Getting frequent access to the child
• Safe touching which becomes increasingly intimate and inappropriate
• Showing sexual pictures to the child
• Talking about sex with the child
• Repeatedly invading the child's privacy
Sometimes, grooming doesn't work for the abuser. Sometimes they will not abuse the first child they try to groom - they will find another more vulnerable child. At other times they may use force, threats and violence to abuse or keep the abuse a secret.
Grooming can be different where the offender is someone who is already well known and trusted, than a stranger.
Source:
http://rpe.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Ending_Offending_Together1.pdf
