Living WITH teens - notes from seminar

On 22nd October 2015 Sue Smith from CAPS Hauraki hosted an evening seminar ‘Living with Teenagers’.

This was a really informative evening where we learned about teenagers’ brains, their thinking and their behavior, and how to have effective and respectful parenting with our teens.

Below are some brief notes that are of interest to every parent dealing with teenagers.

If you would like to be notified about any seminars that CAPS hold, please email reception@capshauraki.co.nz and we will add you to our mailing list.

 Living WITH teens

What happens in the brain during adolescence?

• Pre frontal cortex is ‘out for renovation’ during toddler & adolescence years due to pruning that is happening in their brain.
• Circadian rhythm is nonexistent. Adolescents find it hard to wake in mornings & hard to go to sleep at night.
• Similar to toddlers, adolescents are influenced by their emotions & their peers- how I feel & what my mate says/does.
• Adolescents find it difficult to determine facial expressions of others. Mostly they just think that others are either happy or angry/sad.
• The above are biological imperatives.

What is important for us (parents/carers) to remember?

• We need to model ‘prefrontal cortex’ again & again & again- how to be rational, logical & self-regulate our emotions.
• Being aware of the above changes in their brains help us understand, support & guide our adolescents rather than clash with them.
• Communicate with them.
•  Communicate when your teen is available to ‘hear’ you. This will be individual for ‘your’ teen. As adults we are able to use our whole brain including the pre frontal cortex (part of our brain responsible for reasoning, planning, higher thinking, empathy & more) & model emotional self-regulation for 90% of their time. Adolescents have the capacity to do the same & on average only for 10% of their time so begin to notice when this (10%) time may be to create the best opportunity for effective 2 way communication
• Find a way to connect with your adolescent regularly- meals together, sports, play, fun…
• Have a self-care practice to allow you to be the best person/parent you can be.

 
Authors/presenters that influenced the creation of this seminar
Nathan Mikaere Wallis
Celia Lashlie  “He’ll be OK”
Nigel Latta “The politically incorrect guide to teenagers” (tv show & book)
Pennie Brownlee “Dance with me in the heart” “Magic Places”
Bruce Perry “Born for Love” & “the boy who was raised as a dog”
Daniel Siegel   “the whole brain child” “Mindsight”  you tube- “the hand model”

If you attended the evening and would like to leave a comment or question, please use the comment box below.
Also, if you have any ideas about further seminars, please feel free to comment.